Snapchatting other alumnae to commiserate over the “babies” being upperclassmen. TSM.

Letting the pledge on your floor walk you to class just for the compliments. TSM.

Saturday nights are for renewing my subscriptions to standards hearings. TSTC.

All I need to get through today is a little tequila and a whole ‘lotta Jesus. TSM.

Being the go-to matchmaker during formal season, because your boyfriend is in “the hot fraternity.” TSM.

Would it be crazy or ingenious to save my fingerprint to his iPhone for easy access? TSM.

Can I add “TSM Famous” to my résumé? TSM.

“Recruitment video” is a music genre if you ask me. TSM.

Getting “yell at the bouncer for not accepting your Panera card as an acceptable form of photo ID” drunk. TSM.

Being a clue in a fraternity’s scavenger hunt. TSM.

Spinning to the same songs you dance to on weekends. TSM.

The freshmen begging you to go out with them, because you’re an icon. TSM.

Drinking to forget the work *week.

*out TSM.

Reading your sorority’s newsletter instead of doing your class reading. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

Controlling his zipper and his wallet. TSM.

Looking up the projected income of your new boy’s major before taking it too far. TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

Actually, yeah, I do agree. I think I’m really pretty. TSM.