Marking your territory by giving him a bow tie in your sorority’s Lilly print. TSM.

Even the mom of your crew being “the drunk friend” at home. TSM.

“I like my money where I can see it — hanging in my closet.” -Carrie Bradshaw. TSM.

Having no concrete direction in life, but still convincing everyone you’re the most successful cousin at the dinner table. TSM.

“I have stories for you.” TSM.

Not worrying that you’ll freeze in your dress, because you’ll be drunk. TSM.

Matching with all his brothers on Tinder. TSM.

Putting a sticker in your planner so you know it’s real. TSM.

Getting paid to make fraternity boys’ paddles. TSM.

Big hair. Red lips. Can’t lose. TSM.

Having a Fantasy Bachelor League. TSM.

“How much would the fine be if I didn’t do it?” TSM.

Being hungover at philanthropy events when you can’t be drunk. TSTC.

Drinking in letters when you’re wine drunk around the house, because you’re wild and can’t be tamed. TSM.

Getting the iPhone 6 mainly because the screen is better for Pinterest. TSM.

Dashing through the snow with a bottle of merlot. TSM.

I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a social drinker. It only seems like a problem because I’m so popular! TSM.

Leggings: because you’re too hungover to be bothered by pants with established waistbands. TSM.

If life gives you lemons, make Lululemons. TSM.

Searching for your keys and pulling multiple bows out of your purse instead. TSM.