Timothy Fisher
Year: 5th Year
Hometown: Ann Arbor, Mich.
House: Lower-Middle Tier
Major: Exercise Science
GPA: 2.4
Hair color: Blond, but his beard is red
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 250
Pros:
• Knows how to have a good time
• Will fulfill any lumberjack fantasy you have
• Will always have a flask handy and be ready to shotgun a beer
• Don’t have to spend too much on alcohol, because he’s already drunk
Cons:
• Will break something
• Will embarrass you
• Will climb on top of things to use as a stage when “Free Bird” comes on
• Will probably take one of the tablecloths to make into a toga because he didn’t feel like wearing pants anymore
Projected: First Pick, Last Round
Outlook: It’s a rumor whether Timothy Fisher actually needed to take a fifth year or if he purposely failed World Religions and Human Geography to ensure another year of debauchery. He’s the guy you call on any random Tuesday when lecture is cancelled to day rage, but everyone knows he’s not formal material. Well, everyone except the naïve little freshmen. There will be one new girl who doesn’t understand the the shock of all the seniors or why the VP of Standards faints when his name is drafted. She might as well prepare herself for her first Standards meeting now.
Nice Move316
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
