Charles Brownstone, IV
Year: Sophomore
Hometown: Malvern, Pa.
House: Middle Tier Try-Hards
Major: Economics
GPA: 2.1
Hair color: Brown
Height: 5’11” (“and a half, dammit!”)
Weight: 250
Pros:
• Has gal pal tendencies
• Comes from a prominent, old money family
• Owns a house on the shore
• Always Snapchats back
Cons:
• Speaks only in movie quotes
• His looks do not match his ego
• Made out with a majority of your rival sorority
• Throws hissy fits about four times a day
Projected: Undrafted Free Agent
Outlook: Charles Brownstone, IV, comes from old money, but unfortunately, his personality is subpar. He will listen to you bitch and moan about any of your problems, and if no one else is around, he will comfort you. However, in public, he loses all sense of conscience and will just be a complete dickwad. The positive is that he’ll buy you food to make up for it. He doesn’t understand why girls are not crawling all over him, and you don’t understand why he thinks girl would crawl all over him. He’ll end up attending formal when one of the girls’ boyfriends can’t make it at the last minute (read: literally one hour before formal) and will not seal any deals.
Note: All photos used are from the TFM and TSM photos sections and are not representative of the fictional characters listed.
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
