Day One: Open House
10:30 a.m.: Look at all these cute PNMs! Aww, they’re so cute and helpless, like little deer. They remind me so much of myself freshman year–I can’t wait to talk to them about the best sisterhood ever!
11 a.m.: I really hope these girls can’t tell that I’m as nervous as they are. What if I can’t think of anything to say? Here she comes. Be cool, act natural, say something to keep this conversation flowing. I’ll just go with, “So what activities did you do in high school?” Perfect.
11:02 a.m.: Of course I already know she was on the drill team in high school, she was student council secretary, and her #mcm for the last four Mondays was Dave Franco. I’ve pratically been cyberstalking these girls all summer. All my creeping has paid off–I feel like I know her already.
1:30 p.m.: Time for the next victim–I mean next round. Wow, she’s cute, involved in a lot of clubs, was the prom queen–what a perfect fit! Wait, did she just say her GPA is a 1.2? Okay, maybe not such a good fit.
2 p.m.: Third time’s the charm, right? This girl screams sorority. I mean, she looks like she came straight out of a Lilly Pulitzer catalog. Wait, I love her shoes. And her bracelet. And Jesus, her hair looks like it’s from a freaking shampoo commercial. Did she just say she “practically lives at Barney’s”? If this works out, I know who’s dress I’m borrowing for formal.
3 p.m.: Someone said she was a bit, um, promiscuous during high school, but people change, right? We’ve all been there, and with the right standards chair, anyone can transform into Mother Teresa. We’ll just have to keep her away from the aquarium upstairs.
3:30 p.m.: This is magical. I feel like I’m on the best first date ever, and I’m definitely girl crushing. How can we get along so well? We just met! I can totally see myself having “Sex And The City” marathons with her. Oh, please God, don’t let her be a Charlotte. This is it–love at first sight, my perfect match. She is definitely my rush crush.