Day Two: Philanthropy
10 a.m.: Wow, look at all my sisters! We clean up well when we’re not drowning in baggy T-shirts. To think we hated these outfits, but seeing it all together? We look flawless. Plus, our philanthropy is life-changing if you ask me. Time to show these PNMs what it’s all about.
10:30 a.m.: As Britney Spears would say, “I wanna scream and shout and let it all out.” Here goes nothing. Time to sing, clap, and bounce our little hearts out. After one hell of a work week, this better be the perfect combination of cute and endearing, and not loud and intimidating as
Satan our recruitment chair likes to remind us. I think she was a dictator in a past life.
10:45 a.m.: She’s looking at me. Is my clapping not perky enough? I think I’m starting to lose it. I’ll just smile a little bit bigger. Nailed it.
4 p.m.: Could this day be any longer? If I have to do this chant one more time, I might explode. Just a couple more rounds, then I can unscrew this smile from my face. On the other hand, it’s pretty catchy and we’ve got these girls eating out of the palm of our manicured hands.
6 p.m.: At last, the final round of the day. I like talking to these PNMs, but there should be a limit on how many times a person has to say, “It was so great talking to you.” Being cordial all day is exhausting–this must be how Prince William and Kate feel.