Your GPA being rivaled only by your BAC. TSM.

The number of bruises you find Monday morning directly correlating to how good your weekend was. TSM.

Who starts papers during the daylight hours? TSTC.

Your big-little gifts making it onto Nationals’ Instagram. TSM.

I’m invited to my ex-boyfriend’s formal. He isn’t. TSM.

Setting aside $500 in your semester budget for your little. TSM.

Looking at your manager blankly when she condescendingly asks “What’s more important: your job or your sorority?” TSTC.

Laughing when people say that they can’t taste the difference between diet and regular. TSM.

Taking your vitamins with wine. TSM.

I naturally gravitate towards elevated surfaces. TSM.