“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” TSM.

My sorority was founded before “sorority” was even a word. TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Adopting an underprivileged teenager and having him become an NFL star. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.

A proper lady never spits. Anything. TSM.

Wait… drinks cost money at the bar? TSM.