If you have to ask whether you should text him, you probably shouldn’t, and you probably will. TSM.

Feeling actual anger when her Instagram is private. TSM.

Always being able to maneuver your way to the front of the bar, because you’re so tiny. TSM.

“I hate him. I miss him. Let’s get drunk so I can call him.” TSM.

Giving a guy your number but never actually texting him back. TSTC.

He ain’t worth the vodka. TSM.

If I wouldn’t have to change my monogram for him, that’s an automatic six points. TSM.

Stalking the girls in his social media pictures more than you stalk him. TSM.

“There’s a cop right there. Act normal.” TSM.

The unspoken understanding that social chair is the most important officer in the house. TSM.