Where are my keys? Phone? Dignity? Whatever, best two out of three. TSM.

When your standard weekend routine includes writing apologies in an event you’ve called “Sorry Letter Sunday.” TSM.

I shaved my legs for this. It better be worth it. TSM.

Instagram post or it didn’t happen. TSM.

“But then I found out he was a democrat, so I ended it.” TSM.

Using “I’m a legacy” as your excuse for everything, even if it’s not applicable to the situation. TSM.

Yesterday’s dress with today’s shame all over it. TSM.

Inviting your slampiece over to hook up, but not before he gives you the notes for the class you skipped for brunch. TSM.