I like my coffee as ice cold as my heart. TSM.

As I walk through the valley in the shadow of the frat house, I will fear no standards, for my vodka and whiskey they comfort me. TSM.

Braving the elements to get wine. TSM.

Sorry I made you look fat for the sake of myself look skinny with my skinny app. TSM.

Spring break plans? Get hella turnt and somewhat burnt. TSM.

“Do you have any hot friends?”
“All my friends are hot.” TSM.