“We have more drunk photos than sober ones.” TSM.

Talking about your favorite fraternity as if you were a member. TSM.

Making sure your letters are visible when you see campus tours walk by. TSM.

My ashes would turn to glitter, not dust. TSM.

Paint pens that randomly explode are the reason I have trust issues. TSM.

Sending your sorority’s by-laws to your father’s lawyer to get out of your standards meeting. TSM.

Don’t plan a mixer they’ll never forget. Plan one they’ll never remember. TSM.