Hyphenated last names are for GDIs. I’ll be taking my husband’s name. TSM.

I’m conservative everywhere except the bedroom. TSM.

You’re right GDI. Leggings aren’t pants…if you’re fat. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.

Never taken offense to the phrase “make me a sandwich.” I make a damn good sandwich. TSM.

Wait… drinks cost money at the bar? TSM.

On gamedays, I shotgun Nattys in $300 Lilly dresses and my grandmother’s pearls. TSM.