No one would ever be so stupid as to ask me to be a sober sister. TSM.

Shattering your phone screen, but not your reputation. TSM.

“Can we pregame that?” TSM.

Making a shower cocktail, because there’s no time waste, only time to be wasted. TSM.

I thrive on compliments and wine. TSM.

Breaking hearts and forgetting names. TSM.

Ending the semester with no dignity, but plenty of badass stories to make up for it. TSM.

Knowing you’re over him when you stop checking to see if he watched your Snapchat story. TSM.

My big is my spirit animal. TSM.