The only reason I’ll ever send someone to standards is if they wear pajama pants in public. TSM.

Most likely to do the walk of shame. TSTC.

Accidentally inviting two boys to formal. TSTC.

Knowing it’s a bad idea to text him, but continuing to ask your friends about it until you find someone who says yes. TSM.

Can’t I just be a cuddlepiece with t-shirt privileges? TSM.

Going to the gym to actually sweat, and going to school to actually get an education. TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.