“Recruitment video” is a music genre if you ask me. TSM.

Getting “yell at the bouncer for not accepting your Panera card as an acceptable form of photo ID” drunk. TSM.

Spinning to the same songs you dance to on weekends. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.