“Lord, grant me the caffeine to handle the things I can, and the wine to handle the things I can’t.” TSM.

We do not waste alcohol. TSM.

Only dating finance majors. TSM.

“Don’t worry, your littles are way prettier than hers are.” TSM.

Haaaaave you met my little? TSM.

“I’m using him for his formal.” TSM.

Fifty shades of blackout. TSM.