We’ve hooked up like four times now, so we’re basically engaged. TSM.

The meanest text you can send is a simple “Haha, do you remember what we talked about last night?” No, I don’t remember, and I certainly don’t want to be reminded. TSM.

It’s not resting bitch face. It’s a bonafide dirty look. TSM.

She can do her, and you’ll do you, and I’ll do me, and we’ll all live happily ever after. TSM.

Take more shots, make more shots. TSM.