“I think I’m an Instagram addict.” TSM.

Feeling better about the breakup when you find out he’s actually poor, not just cheap. TSM.

“We have to go out tonight. I did my hair.” TSM.

Life’s problems are like bottles of wine. It’s best if you finish what’s open before starting something new. TSM.

The only reason I’ll ever send someone to standards is if they wear pajama pants in public. TSM.

Get excited. TSM.

“Oh my God, you look EXACTLY like your big.” TSM.

Getting offended when someone says “you don’t seem like the sorority type.” TSM.

Pregaming sober monitoring. TSM.

Beer bonging wine. TSM.