Considering your most recent fraternity hookup to be a “political alliance.” TSM.

Frat queen, not trap queen. TSM.

The condition of your iPhone being a good indication of how your life is going. TSM.

Vodka might not be the answer, but it’s always worth a shot. TSM.

“She’s rushing, right?” TSM.

Changing his name in your phone to “YOU DON’T LIKE HIM.” TSM.

Being delighted to see that Fitbit gave you steps for your hookup. TSM.

Smuggling cheap beer in an expensive bag. TSM.