The “k bye” text so he knows he’s in trouble. TSM.

“Every time we relate to a TSM, drink your moscato.” -how to finish a bottle of wine in five minutes. TSTC.

Hooking up with the t-shirt chair of a fraternity because, well, he’s the t-shirt chair. Duh. TSM.

There is never an inappropriate time for wine or Beyoncé. TSM.

Get in, Little. We’re going crafting. TSM.

The Real Housewives of Frat Row. TSM.

“I’m not into exercise. If God wanted me to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor.” -Joan Rivers. TSM.

Making it to the 8am tailgate, but not your 8am class. TSM.

Taking “you’re such a stereotypical sorority girl” as a compliment. TSM.

I’m fluent in English, sarcasm, passive aggressiveness, and flirting. TSM.