Would it be crazy or ingenious to save my fingerprint to his iPhone for easy access? TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

The amount of glitter in my bed would make you think I’d fucked the tooth fairy. TSM.

Being more prepared for spring break in one month, than you are for the classes you have tomorrow. TSM.

Being hotter than you are crazy. TSM.

You had me at “pre-med.” TSM.

Spending all of Clue Week convincing your little she isn’t your little. TSM.

Forcing your big to go out because little gets what little wants. TSM.