I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.

Afternoon tee time. TFM. Afternoon tea time. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.

No. I am not concerned about my future. I am a 34D and bake cookies like you wouldn’t believe. TSM.

Hyphenated last names are for GDIs. I’ll be taking my husband’s name. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.

A proper lady never spits. Anything. TSM.