What doesn’t kill you makes you blonder. TSM.

Your little coming to you for advice on how to trick her little before reveal. TSM.

FLOWER HEADBANDS AREN’T STUPID. YOU ARE. TSM.

Spending more time making an outfit than wearing it. TSM.

His pledges, my perks. TSM.

Margarita Monday. Tequila Tuesday. Wine Wednesday. Tonic Thursday. Fireball Friday. TSM.

Being on a first-name basis with the late night staff at Jo-Ann’s. TSM.

Keeping your heart and your Starbucks on ice. TSM.

I’m not an alcoholic. I’m just a soberphobic. TSM.