My in-state license may say I’m turning 20, but I’m turning 23 in New Jersey and 24 in Pennsylvania. TSM.

Treating every week like syllabus week. TSTC.

It’s all fun and games until you run out of dry shampoo. TSM.

Doing everyday household activities in heels to break them in. TSM.

“I just need caffeine and a spray tan.” TSM.

Your parents not learning your big’s name or your little’s name, because you only call them “big” and “little.” TSM.

It’s crafting season. TSM.

Pray for my soul, my liver and my dignity. TSM.

“I don’t believe in marriage. I do, however, believe in Botox. That works every time” -Sam Jones. TSM.

Wishing you could get drunk as easily as a freshman. TSM.