If you don’t get called into standards on Monday, did you really have a good weekend? TSM.

It’s tanning bed season. TSM.

Getting a separate monogrammed necklace to match the name on your fake ID. TSM.

She wouldn’t even look good with a tan and a filter. TSM.

I may have permanent bitch face, but at least it’s pretty. TSM.

Your signature cocktail being The Scarlet O’Hara. TSM.

Setting your alarm for the Lilly Pulitzer sale. TSM.