Summer plans? Tanning and crafting. TSM.

Being a woman is all about sucking it up, sucking it in, and sucking it down. TSM.

Knowing the details of a fraternity’s formal before its members do. TSM.

Using “She must be a legacy” as an insult. TSM.

Swapportunity: the opportunity to swap out dinner for alcohol. Is that not how it works? TSM.

Being personally victimized by the standards chair. TSM.

“Seriously, what is my life?” TSM.

“Accidentally” spilling glitter on his cooler. TSM.

Knowing a fraternity house better than the pledges do. TSM.

Who needs a therapist when you have a big? TSM.