Can I add “TSM Famous” to my résumé? TSM.

The freshmen begging you to go out with them, because you’re an icon. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

Controlling his zipper and his wallet. TSM.

Looking up the projected income of your new boy’s major before taking it too far. TSM.

Putting your crafting box away from big/little season only to take it back out of retirement in preparation of cooler season. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

The best thing about college is being able to skip class whenever you want. That’s also the worst thing about college. TSM.