Drinking wine because it’s classier than beer, and because, hello, it has a higher concentration of alcohol. TSM.

When your profile picture featuring your brand new little breaks your “like” record on Facebook. TSM.

Philanthropy events are like the gym. You don’t want to go, but once you’re there, you feel pretty good about yourself. TSM.

I’m not saying I’m a psychic or anything, but judging by my matching bra and panties, it’s going to be a good night. TSM.

The “k bye” text so he knows he’s in trouble. TSM.

The inclusion of a Starbucks gift card in his apology gesture. TSM.

Doing as much hungover bonding as drunk bonding. TSM.

“Every time we relate to a TSM, drink your moscato.” -how to finish a bottle of wine in five minutes. TSTC.

Counting mimosas as your daily dose of fruit. TSM.