Sending the passive aggressive “Have fun.” text. TSM.

I’m not crazy, I’m just very, very curious. TSM.

I don’t normally do keg stands, but when I do, I do them with my little. TSM.

Booze: the one thing needed to get you through recruitment hell that you can’t have. TSM.

“Wait, just let me check my costume box.” TSM.

“My cheeks got burnt at the tailgate. I’m chill about it, though, because now I have like a natural contour.” TSM.

It’s not even official yet and her name is already Big in my phone. TSM.

When the Recruitment Chair has to talk about keeping RBF to a minimum. TSM.

Hakuna Moscato. It means no empty glass, for the rest of your days. TSM.

Text to bestie: I’m just lightly stalking his ex.
Bestie: you spelled heavily wrong.
TSM.