“I’m not judging you or anything, but oh my God!” TSM.

Spending more time getting ready for the gym than you do inside it. TSM.

Automatically connecting to the Starbucks wifi. TSM.

Wearing your letters to summer classes so people know you don’t go to community college. TSM.

Making sure your roommate hooks up with a guy from the same fraternity as you are, so you can share a ride in the morning. TSM.

Having a color-coordinated closet. TSM.

Being more scared of standards than the cops. TSM.

Mixing vodka into your juice cleanse. TSTC.

The apathetic “Well standards wouldn’t like this one bit,” before 99% of the things you do. TSTC.

I need a white wine emoji almost as badly as I need a white wine. TSM.