Calling your dad and telling him you “need” money, when really, you’re just going to the liquor store. TSM.

A moment of silence for all the cute shit you’ve lost at a frat house. TSM.

Taking a shot for every person in the room who’s shattered an iPhone. TSM.

Playing flip cup with champagne. TSM.

Having Tinder in the apps folder labeled “shopping.” TSM.

Skin type: glitter. TSM.

Making every tailgate but missing every game. TSM.

“I know what you did last night,” a horror story. TSM.