“But then I found out he was a democrat, so I ended it.” TSM.

Using “I’m a legacy” as your excuse for everything, even if it’s not applicable to the situation. TSM.

Being more prepared for spring break than you are for midterms. TSM.

Beating the guys at their own game — whether it’s beer pong or matters of the heart — every single time. TSM.

I like my coffee as ice cold as my heart. TSM.

As I walk through the valley in the shadow of the frat house, I will fear no standards, for my vodka and whiskey they comfort me. TSM.