He passive-aggressively liked my Facebook photo so I aggressive-aggressively bitched him out. TSM.

I only drink to forget my drunken mistakes. TSM.

Making him talk to God more than his priest ever did. TSM.

1: Name one thing you never leave the house without.
2: My eyebrows on fleek. TSM.

Anyone wearing a bucket hat doesn’t deserve to see me naked. TSM.

“What do you think of my Instagram bio?” TSM.

Senior year marking your quarter life crisis. TSM.

Asking your group chat what time their standards meetings are, because you’re assuming they’ll have one. TSM.

Taking your sister’s shots for her in the name of sisterhood. TSM.

Rescheduling your mental breakdown for after Bid Day. TSM.

When the majority of your conversations with your big include screenshots that could ruin someone’s life. TSM.

I’m a senior and literally can’t find anymore fucks to give about standards. TSM.

“I only do that when I’m drunk.”
“Yeah, but when are you not drunk?” TSTC.

Learning his name from the Uber he requested you in the morning. TSTC.

Using your little as an excuse to party like freshman. TSM.

Drinking until your feet don’t hurt anymore. TSM.

Taking off all your clothes for bed, but not quite washing off your makeup until you’re totally sure no one is going out. TSM.

Planning your pose and caption for Instagram before you even go out. TSM.

The hint of shame when the bouncer just redraws over last night’s X’s on your hand. TSM.

Snow day is code for day drinking. TSM.