Firefly and lemonade. TSM.

I feel bad for people who will never understand that being pretty, a D cup, and having the ability to cry on command is like having super powers. TSM.

Knowing that when we say, “Bless her heart,” it really means, “Oh, that bitch.” TSM.

The only place my fake ID won’t work is at my country club because everyone has known my name since I was two. It doesn’t matter, I get served anyways. TSM.

Our house mom provided shrimp cocktail and orange juice one night as a study snack. The only thing missing was the champagne. Just kidding we had that covered. TSM.

My gift wrapping is second to none. TSM.

The bigger the hoops, the bigger the ho. Unless they are Tiffany’s. TSM.

“I love us.” TSM.

GDIs are excited about our school giving students the iPad2 next fall. I’m excited about the Lilly Pulitzer case I’ll put on it. TSM

“Oh, your condo is on a PUBLIC beach? Neat…” TSM.

I’m not interested in politics. I just want to be a senator’s wife. Dear professor that should count as an A. TSM.

Sometimes I talk about my sisters. Sorry for gossiping. TSM.

The worst part of summer is seeing geeds wear sandals on their dirty hippie feet. TSM.

When I’m having a bad day, I just stalk myself on Facebook to make it better. TSM.

I just want you to text me so I can ignore you. TSM.

Knowing it doesn’t matter how late I am to work, because with just one smile I can get away with anything. TSM.

“It’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine, it’s summertime.” TSM.

Not having enough spaces in the “Reasons to Party” section of my Lilly planner. TSM.

I’d dirty rush Hope Solo. TSM.

Debating whether to love Taylor Swift for her contributons to my iTunes or hate her for being a geed and hating girls like me. TSM.