Calling dibs on the good Insta caption when you’re at an event. TSM.

Dear future little, here’s a few things you’ll need to know if you wanna be the one and only in our line. TSM.

There’s an abbreviation for that. TSM.

Laughter is the best medicine, and wine helps you get there, so basically this is like herbal tea. TSM.

Evaluating your own social success based on how many guys you have wrapped around your finger. TSTC.

Judging a guy by his shoes. TSM.

Feeling productive because you reorganized your Pinterest boards. TSM.

Losing your virginity twice. TSTC.

Look like an Archibald, think like a Bass, act like a Waldorf, work like a Humphrey, and dress like a VanDerWoodsen. TSM.

“You need your own reality show.” TSM.

Making him think it was his idea. TSM.

Going to the gym to get that perfect bikini bod, then coming home and rewarding yourself by eating half a pizza. TSTC.

Never being appointed as a sober sister because everyone knows better. TSM.

You can keep my dignity, and I’ll keep your t-shirt. TSM.

“Ugh. I jus need a sugar daddy.” TSM.

Telling someone you hate them, almost exclusively meaning you really like them. TSM.

“He’s going into the family business.” TSM.

Drinking your calories and your feelings in the same night. TSM.

I love karma so much I’ve considered converting to Buddhism. TSM.

“Tell me everything you know about him.” TSM.