Making the housekeeper pick out the raisins in my morning Raisin Bran. TSM.

If you have to continually announce to the world that you are a Southern Belle, then you’re probably not one. TSM.

Bedazzling your breathalyzer. TSM.

You’re not a classy sorority when half of your chapter smokes. TSM.

Only passing my British history exam because I had the option to write about the Royal Wedding. TSM.

Bringing my craft box to the library so I can do my Elementary Education projects while my fratdaddy studies for his LSAT. TSM.

Immediately turning around to check the back windshield for letters whenever a Frathoe or F150 drives by. TSM.

I would aspire to be like Jackie Kennedy, but she was a Democrat. TSM.

I wish I could just write on my resume future trophy wife. This whole job thing is not for me. TSM.

My derby hat looks better than my Royal Wedding hat. TSM.

The only NF I know is non-fat. TSM.

My prof complimented my perfume three times while we discussed my final paper. Not worried about being 5 pages short. TSM.

I don’t need the skinny arm. TSM.

If only I was as committed to memorizing these econ formulas as I was to memorizing my credit card numbers. TSM.

Today, I talked to a GDI for approximately 8 minutes and smiled as I walked away. It was painful, but not as painful as writing 15 pages myself would have been. TSM.

Carbs are for geeds. TSM.

If only something rhymed with orange then I might have something to say about your tan. TSM.

Any bitchy comment I make is made sweeter simply by the fact that I’m wearing a bow in my hair. TSM.

Getting glitter all over my fratdaddy’s bed. TSM.

Its okay GDI, I’m sure you fit in somewhere. Just not here. TSM.