Polka dot is my favorite color. TSM.

Making Lent about weight-loss instead of religion. TSM.

Knowing that GDI’s children will be jealous of our children’s lunches. TSM.

You call it Fat Tuesday, I call it Mardi Gras. I never have a fat day, even if it’s just a holiday. TSM.

Married a fratdaddy Naval officer so our wedding could be nautical themed. TSM.

Fraternity formal: Eating responsibly and drinking irresponsibly. TSM.

This morning I checked my reflection in the toilet as I was throwing up to make sure I still had my pearl earrings on. TSM.

“I wonder what it would be like to grow up in a house that small.” TSM.

I was going to start my spring break diet today, but then I realized with my love for food and my naturally pettite frame, it was neither possible nor necessary. TSM.

My sorority house is more like a personal pharmacy. TSM.

My life is a Lifetime movie and a Real World episode combined. TSM.

Avoiding exec during socials. TSM.

Too drunk to shack. TSM.

Yes, my life is as fun as my facebook photos look. TSM.

Wanting a girl and a boy because I want to be able to buy bows and headbands as well as bow ties and needlepoint belts. TSM.

My trust fund is out there somewhere. TSM.

Giving up wine for lent. Yeah, right. TSM.

Woke up on the fratress again. TSM.

I’m a Charlotte in the streets, a Samantha in the sheets and a Carrie in the boutiques. TSM.

Giving up your virginity for lent. TSM.