There’s nothing better than a good ol’ Bachelor/Bachelorette drinking game. But what’s a girl to do when she still wants to drink to the antics of wannabe-reality TV stars, who are “there for the wrong reasons,” but it isn’t Monday night? Luckily for us, for most of these guys on this season’s Bachelorette, boosting their number of Instagram followers is more important to them than winning Rachel’s heart, and staging their “perfect” Instagram presence is their top priority. What’s the guy-equivalent of Fit Tea?
Instead of creeping your ex, and his new girlfriend for the millionth time, stalk through some of Rachel’s potential lovers and pop open a bottle of wine – it’s going to be a long night.
One Sip
- Every time something to do with fitness is posted. I think there may be more video footage from Instagram videos of these guys squatting than there is actual footage from this season’s Bachelorette.
- Whenever a blurry screenshot from the episode is posted. Did none of you take any photos while you were actually filming?
- Take a sip for every rose emoji found in a contestant’s bio. Finish your drink if they use a rose beside their name as well.
- Whenever the hashtag #roseboys is used. #giveitup
- Every time one of these guys posts a “throwback” to the first night. Your entrance was awkward and regardless of how much you spent on your penguin costume, there’s no reason to remind people of it.
- For every picture Diggy posts of his shoes.
- Whenever a contestant has “Personal Trainer” or “Motivational Speaker” as a career in their bio. Finish the bottle if they have both.
Two Sips
- For every unflattering photo that you’re sure Rachel untagged herself from. When will guys ever learn?
- Every time one of the contestants posts a “modeling” picture. Take a shot if the guy definitely isn’t a model. Someone must have informed them that the more well-lit, obviously staged candids they post, the greater their chances of being on Paradise are.
- For every time one of the guys tries to brand themselves with their own hashtag (that only they use) #DenzelTheLion #ItsMiracleSeason #WhaBoom
- Whenever anyone posts about the fake accounts pretending to be them. We get it. Three episodes in and you’re already so famous. Who wouldn’t want to be you (and have their embarrassing breakup on national television)?
- For every photos that these guys post with their dogs. I’ll sleep well at night knowing that even though you probably don’t have Rachel, you’ll have your cute dog to keep you company.
Finish Your Drink
- Whenever any of the guys use their newfound Instagram-fame to try to get followers for their friends or family. Trust me, there’s no chance that anyone is going to care about your cousin’s photography business unless you at least make it to the fantasy suites.
- For every contestant who had to make their profile private because of previous social media scandals. I’m looking at you Lee…
- Anytime a contestant has already started selling their own personal-brand merchandise.
Do you accept this rosé?.
Nice Move134
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crazygirlfriend
Hiding from my mother and standards, both of whom would disown me if they heard most of these stories. Aspiring law school student, with a chihuahua named Bruiser and a head of unnatural blonde hair. Email me your "crazy" stories or any mixed drink recipes that taste like juice, but have copious amounts of vodka in them at crazygirlfriend.tsm@gmail.com Watch the bitch behind these stories at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrp2D9h3SMk&t=67s
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