So the grey area, where you don’t think he is to blame but you do feel violated, isn’t that like accidental manslaughter? I’d call this nonconsentual, noncriminal sex (or something way more eloquent). Also I agree with the intent of your column; we need to create a more expansive vocabulary for sexual encounters. The confused feeling you have, as you alluded to, is because the nature of situations like these are rarely verbalized. If we can come up with a definition for this, we can better discuss it. Also on the verbal yes: by the letter of the law in most states, a verbal yes is necessary to establish consent. However, to expect this of everyone in every situation, is terribly naive and actually counterproductive. If you hold people to this standard, rather than a more reasonable one, we will continue to miss the mark. Rape is one of those things where you know it when you see it. It’s tough to vocalize, but by insisting on ridiculous standards, you further confuse things for the laymen and women. This is the same problem with saying that any drunk sex is nonconsentual. Doing so sets such ridiculous standards that it is actually counter productive. Unfortunately, most of our vocabulary about sex is either legal in nature (rape, sexual assault, etc.) or too ambiguous (hook up, etc.). Thank you for writing this column, Hot Piece. By continuing this dialogue, you’re getting people to think about this issue more deeply and helping people to vocalize their own experiences. If we keep doing this, eventually we may be able to define these sorts of interactions and give women and men guidance on how to handle them.
More blow jobs
Thought it was a given, I guess not. Glad we cleared that up.
So the grey area, where you don’t think he is to blame but you do feel violated, isn’t that like accidental manslaughter? I’d call this nonconsentual, noncriminal sex (or something way more eloquent). Also I agree with the intent of your column; we need to create a more expansive vocabulary for sexual encounters. The confused feeling you have, as you alluded to, is because the nature of situations like these are rarely verbalized. If we can come up with a definition for this, we can better discuss it. Also on the verbal yes: by the letter of the law in most states, a verbal yes is necessary to establish consent. However, to expect this of everyone in every situation, is terribly naive and actually counterproductive. If you hold people to this standard, rather than a more reasonable one, we will continue to miss the mark. Rape is one of those things where you know it when you see it. It’s tough to vocalize, but by insisting on ridiculous standards, you further confuse things for the laymen and women. This is the same problem with saying that any drunk sex is nonconsentual. Doing so sets such ridiculous standards that it is actually counter productive. Unfortunately, most of our vocabulary about sex is either legal in nature (rape, sexual assault, etc.) or too ambiguous (hook up, etc.). Thank you for writing this column, Hot Piece. By continuing this dialogue, you’re getting people to think about this issue more deeply and helping people to vocalize their own experiences. If we keep doing this, eventually we may be able to define these sorts of interactions and give women and men guidance on how to handle them.