It’s my birthday week. I get a week. TSM.

Writing down spray tan and nail appointments in your planner, but not test dates. TSM.

“Have you met my little?” TSM.

Celebrating the weekend in the middle of the week. TSM.

Calling your big’s boyfriend “Dad.” TSM.

Fueling fraternity feuds as the Helen of Troy of Greek Row. TSM.

Remember that time when I opened a bottle of wine with a knife? That’s when I knew I could survive in the wild. TSM.