Successfully tricking the whole new pledge class into believing they didn’t get their number one big. TSM.

Joining a bottom tier sorority. Graduating from a top tier sorority. TSM.

Sometimes, I just want to punch drunk me in the face. TSM.

Remembering just enough of the night to know you’ll be getting called to standards. TSM.

The number of times I’ve used a guy because his bed was closer than mine is both epic and appalling. TSM.

I’ve begun using shot glasses as my contact containers if you want to make conducting the Hot Mess Express a competition. TSTC.

Strategically leaving evidence of your having been there all over his room. TSM.

Waiting until the night before to study for an exam, but starting on a formal cooler two months in advance. TSM.