Averaging a hair flip emoji every six texts. TSM.

I didn’t pay for my friends. I paid for my Instagram likes. TSM.

Never having to walk home during pledge season. TSM.

“Accidentally” smearing lipstick on his shirt to mark your territory. TSM.

Getting up earlier for a philanthropy than you ever would for class. TSM.

Marry for money. Love will come later. TSM.

Stalking your little back to the day she joined Facebook. TSTC.

Having to start every party story with “I don’t actually remember any of this, but apparently…” TSM.