Waking up next to Taco Bell and feeling way more ashamed than if it had been a guy. TSM.

The only clubs I go to are country clubs. TSM.

Give me wine or give me *death.

*vodka. TSM.

You know you’re a mess when your phone autocorrects drunk to drunj. TSTC.

Always being there when a sister “can’t find anyone to take this shot with.” TSM.

Never showing up empty-handed, whether that’s Starbucks at 2, or wine at 9. TSM.