Casually threatening your guy friends not to corrupt your little. That’s what she has you for. TSM.

Hazing fraternity pledges, but never your own. TSM.

Patiently waiting for legging season. TSM.

I’ll make the Jell-O shots. I took AP Chem in high school. TSM.

Can I put “highly skilled at taking care of drunk girls” on my resume? TSM.

“Yes, I’m wearing shorts.” TSM.

I wish my life was as organized as my planner. TSM.

He’s my ex-whatever-he-was. TSM.

Finding glitter in random places in your room. And backpack. And purse. And notebooks. TSM.