I know this point is probably moot, but women shouldn’t be self conscious about their appearance below the belt. I don’t care if you’re freshly waxed, have a 5 o’clock shadow, or have grown some ridiculous shrubbery that looks like it belongs in the neighborhood from Edward scissor hands. I’m going downtown and I’m not going to stop until you get yours, because winners find a way. I also don’t expect you to return the favor unless you absolutely want to. Guilt-ridden blow jobs are a waste of time for both of us. Also, I’m not going to kiss you afterwards unless I do a solid gargle with mouthwash. I wouldn’t kiss a girl after fellatio, and reciprocally I wouldn’t put you through that nightmare either. Last bit of advice; I love when girls grab/pull my hair during cunnilingus. If you don’t do that then I’m going to switch up my routine until you do. If the guy isn’t doing it for you, tell him to make good use of his hands. Pressure on the lower abdomen is one of my go-to’s. Oral is an amazing and I don’t want you guys to miss out just because you’ve hooked up with some selfish and boring guys. To quote Alec Baldwin from ‘Outside Providence’: “Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: it ain’t over ’til you both get your cookies.”
This article is 90% correct. My fraternity (obviously I can’t speak for all) would never applaud any brother’s bar/bedroom accomplishments in chapter meetings because our alumni (who own the house) read the chapter minutes; we do it at house dinner so it’s off the record. Elections are more laid back, but they never involve booze and can sometimes turn unnecessarily intense. Last, our executive board (fraternity “standards” if you will) absolutely would not punish a brother for sobriety; on the contrary they debate whether or not someone is raging too hard and needs to settle down. But mostly the only things for which we are reprimanded is physical destruction to the house and/or embarrassing ourselves in front of women. Because no brother could commit a bigger crime than potential damage to our house reputation with sororities. But other than that, she hit the nail on the head. Madam, I tip my cap to you on a job well done.
I think it’s fantastic that you are being honest about your feelings now. My advice is to be completely sincere but take things extremely slow. You guys have already grown so emotionally close that your first date will feel more like an anniversary. But if you really have feelings for him, don’t just keep him as a “safety” in case nobody better comes along. Eventually, for self preservation, his romantic feelings will fade and he’ll only desire your friendship. After reading your story, I wouldn’t fear losing your best friend. It’s so much better to try for what feels perfect than to safeguard a friendship. The best marriages start out as close, platonic friendships. You don’t want to wonder for the rest of your life if you passed on the perfect husband so that you could still text him about problems with guys who aren’t him. Always choose love. And when it works out, turn your story into a romantic comedy starring Brie Larson. Good luck and Godspeed.
I appreciate all of the positive feedback. You ladies definitely give us nice guys hope that we won’t always finish last. Just know that there are other fraternity men out there like myself who are hopeless romantics and want nothing more than to treat you like a princess.
You are ultimately correct. I just wasn’t as smart as you when I was in college. That girl was my biggest regret during my fraternity years. Don’t let your friends fall in love with a lost cause like I did.
I could tell this whole story, but it would read as a novel. That post would likely be The second episode of a nine-part saga. My collegiate romantic comedy just gets deeper and darker until it’s not-so-Hollywood conclusion. I would be happy to relive it for you… But here’s where I sound like a moron. The above was my first comment ever on this site, and I don’t know how I would even go about sharing it whatsoever.
lets just say that years went by and it took a life changing experience for her to completely push me away and for me to accept that reality. Nice guys always finish last.
I was the Friend-Zoned Fraternity boy in college. I had that exact type of “one of a kind” friendship with a DG. Painful as it was to read, this article is almost perfectly correct. The only things she left out about the FBF were his true feelings and dreams. Sure, we were best friends. And some guys like myself will willingly enter this friendship. My best friend used to crawl in bed with me in the morning after she woke up from the previous evening’s mistake with my pledge brother. And you know I thought every time she did it? “You see, she WANTS to be in your bed. You’re doing great. Just keep going and she’ll see you for what you really are; absolutely perfect for her.” The only reason a fraternity boy accepts the friend zone is because he’s in love with you. You already know this, but you convince yourself that he’s not. Only Love would make a man Buy you gifts, shower you with attention, nurture your feelings, and righteously protect your honor while you live the dream that is being a single sorority girl. He convinces himself that the emotional intimacy you share will eventually lead to physical intimacy and the perfect relationship. I had that, and I had it BAAAAD. Not only did she sleep with my pledge brother, but it was in the same sleeping dorm AND on the other side of a half wall from my bed. I could hear them whispering when I went to bed, and then I would see her first thing in the morning when she woke me up. Falling asleep was my nightmare; waking up was my dream come true. I was so head over heels, That I went out of my way to pick up the chivalry slack on HER dates. My pledge brother was emotionally and financially cheap, but I wasn’t about to let that ruin her College experience. Once we double dated to her first spring formal. She took my unworthy pledge brother, and she volunteered me to escort one of her shy and single sisters. Before the evening started, I tried to coach my pledge brother into becoming the prince charming that I thought she deserved. All week I was dropping hints like “is your suit clean? You don’t want to be the only one in khakis”. And right before we picked them up, I tried to guilt him him with man law. “Sure, it’s their formal, but you’re still going to pay for it aren’t you?” He just shrugged “she said she can pay so I’m good.” I said “just because she CAN pay for it doesn’t mean that she should…” The conversation ended with his response of “well dinner is included in the ticket price so it won’t be that bad.” I almost got sick. Sick from rage that this person got to Play the role that I Longed for in her life, and sick that she was going to have a terrible time. So I vowed to give my Cinderella the Ball of her dreams, even if I had to puppeteer her Prince Charming myself. At the beginning of the night, at the pre-Formal bar, she gave me her fake ID to hold (so that if the police showed up, only I would get arrested) and then she gave me $20 and their first drink order. I returned from the bar with four drinks: one for myself, my own date, my best friend, and my pledge brother. We slammed double Redbull cranberry vodkas like every moron 19-year-old does, and my best friend told me to keep the change to use throughout the evening for her and my pledge brother’s drinks. She was persistent to command me to notify her once that money was gone so that she could continue to pay for her own formal all night. Silly girl, I saw that coming a mile away and had planned accordingly. Not once did I tell her that her funds had diminished. I paid for my drinks, my date’s drinks, her drinks, and her date’s drinks. This was a formal so it was at a *college nice* restaurant that did not have college style prices. I spent $575 that night on the bar tab. And she had the best formal ever. At the end of the night, as she was walking with my pledge brother into our sleeping dorm to spend the night, she stopped in my room to ask me a question. “Hey, before I forget, was there any change to the 20 bucks I gave you?” Pretty girl, played right into my trap. “Oh yeah girl, let me get that back to you before you go to bed.” So I walked up to her and I put her original $20 bill back in her hand. She got really confused, and looked at me and said “I don’t understand…” I just cocked a smile. Now was the moment for my grand finale. “No gentleman would ever allow a lady to pay for her own drinks during a formal affair. There’s three things a woman should never touch on a perfect night; door handles, backs of chairs, and the check. You’re my best friend and I’ll be damned if I was going to let a cheap date ruin your first formal.” She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She just gave me a look that I’ll never forget. It was if her eyes said “one day I’m going to to marry you.” And we just stood there in silence, memorizing everything that had happened in the last 5 minutes so that we could tell this story for the rest of our lives. My pledge brother’s voice broke the silence “Hey so I’m going to bed. Are you going to stay with me tonight or is he going to take you home?” She looked at him with tears still in her eyes and just nodded. As she walked out the door she still didn’t say a word, she just looked at me and mouth the words “I Love You”. In that moment it was all worth it. I would’ve spent $5000 for that moment. I didn’t care that she slept with my pledge brother that night. He had her body, but I was getting closer to her heart. And then the next morning, she crawled into bed with me.
I know this point is probably moot, but women shouldn’t be self conscious about their appearance below the belt. I don’t care if you’re freshly waxed, have a 5 o’clock shadow, or have grown some ridiculous shrubbery that looks like it belongs in the neighborhood from Edward scissor hands. I’m going downtown and I’m not going to stop until you get yours, because winners find a way. I also don’t expect you to return the favor unless you absolutely want to. Guilt-ridden blow jobs are a waste of time for both of us. Also, I’m not going to kiss you afterwards unless I do a solid gargle with mouthwash. I wouldn’t kiss a girl after fellatio, and reciprocally I wouldn’t put you through that nightmare either. Last bit of advice; I love when girls grab/pull my hair during cunnilingus. If you don’t do that then I’m going to switch up my routine until you do. If the guy isn’t doing it for you, tell him to make good use of his hands. Pressure on the lower abdomen is one of my go-to’s. Oral is an amazing and I don’t want you guys to miss out just because you’ve hooked up with some selfish and boring guys. To quote Alec Baldwin from ‘Outside Providence’: “Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: it ain’t over ’til you both get your cookies.”
This article is 90% correct. My fraternity (obviously I can’t speak for all) would never applaud any brother’s bar/bedroom accomplishments in chapter meetings because our alumni (who own the house) read the chapter minutes; we do it at house dinner so it’s off the record. Elections are more laid back, but they never involve booze and can sometimes turn unnecessarily intense. Last, our executive board (fraternity “standards” if you will) absolutely would not punish a brother for sobriety; on the contrary they debate whether or not someone is raging too hard and needs to settle down. But mostly the only things for which we are reprimanded is physical destruction to the house and/or embarrassing ourselves in front of women. Because no brother could commit a bigger crime than potential damage to our house reputation with sororities. But other than that, she hit the nail on the head. Madam, I tip my cap to you on a job well done.
I think it’s fantastic that you are being honest about your feelings now. My advice is to be completely sincere but take things extremely slow. You guys have already grown so emotionally close that your first date will feel more like an anniversary. But if you really have feelings for him, don’t just keep him as a “safety” in case nobody better comes along. Eventually, for self preservation, his romantic feelings will fade and he’ll only desire your friendship. After reading your story, I wouldn’t fear losing your best friend. It’s so much better to try for what feels perfect than to safeguard a friendship. The best marriages start out as close, platonic friendships. You don’t want to wonder for the rest of your life if you passed on the perfect husband so that you could still text him about problems with guys who aren’t him. Always choose love. And when it works out, turn your story into a romantic comedy starring Brie Larson. Good luck and Godspeed.
I appreciate all of the positive feedback. You ladies definitely give us nice guys hope that we won’t always finish last. Just know that there are other fraternity men out there like myself who are hopeless romantics and want nothing more than to treat you like a princess.
You are ultimately correct. I just wasn’t as smart as you when I was in college. That girl was my biggest regret during my fraternity years. Don’t let your friends fall in love with a lost cause like I did.
I could tell this whole story, but it would read as a novel. That post would likely be The second episode of a nine-part saga. My collegiate romantic comedy just gets deeper and darker until it’s not-so-Hollywood conclusion. I would be happy to relive it for you… But here’s where I sound like a moron. The above was my first comment ever on this site, and I don’t know how I would even go about sharing it whatsoever.
lets just say that years went by and it took a life changing experience for her to completely push me away and for me to accept that reality. Nice guys always finish last.
I was the Friend-Zoned Fraternity boy in college. I had that exact type of “one of a kind” friendship with a DG. Painful as it was to read, this article is almost perfectly correct. The only things she left out about the FBF were his true feelings and dreams. Sure, we were best friends. And some guys like myself will willingly enter this friendship. My best friend used to crawl in bed with me in the morning after she woke up from the previous evening’s mistake with my pledge brother. And you know I thought every time she did it? “You see, she WANTS to be in your bed. You’re doing great. Just keep going and she’ll see you for what you really are; absolutely perfect for her.” The only reason a fraternity boy accepts the friend zone is because he’s in love with you. You already know this, but you convince yourself that he’s not. Only Love would make a man Buy you gifts, shower you with attention, nurture your feelings, and righteously protect your honor while you live the dream that is being a single sorority girl. He convinces himself that the emotional intimacy you share will eventually lead to physical intimacy and the perfect relationship. I had that, and I had it BAAAAD. Not only did she sleep with my pledge brother, but it was in the same sleeping dorm AND on the other side of a half wall from my bed. I could hear them whispering when I went to bed, and then I would see her first thing in the morning when she woke me up. Falling asleep was my nightmare; waking up was my dream come true. I was so head over heels, That I went out of my way to pick up the chivalry slack on HER dates. My pledge brother was emotionally and financially cheap, but I wasn’t about to let that ruin her College experience. Once we double dated to her first spring formal. She took my unworthy pledge brother, and she volunteered me to escort one of her shy and single sisters. Before the evening started, I tried to coach my pledge brother into becoming the prince charming that I thought she deserved. All week I was dropping hints like “is your suit clean? You don’t want to be the only one in khakis”. And right before we picked them up, I tried to guilt him him with man law. “Sure, it’s their formal, but you’re still going to pay for it aren’t you?” He just shrugged “she said she can pay so I’m good.” I said “just because she CAN pay for it doesn’t mean that she should…” The conversation ended with his response of “well dinner is included in the ticket price so it won’t be that bad.” I almost got sick. Sick from rage that this person got to Play the role that I Longed for in her life, and sick that she was going to have a terrible time. So I vowed to give my Cinderella the Ball of her dreams, even if I had to puppeteer her Prince Charming myself. At the beginning of the night, at the pre-Formal bar, she gave me her fake ID to hold (so that if the police showed up, only I would get arrested) and then she gave me $20 and their first drink order. I returned from the bar with four drinks: one for myself, my own date, my best friend, and my pledge brother. We slammed double Redbull cranberry vodkas like every moron 19-year-old does, and my best friend told me to keep the change to use throughout the evening for her and my pledge brother’s drinks. She was persistent to command me to notify her once that money was gone so that she could continue to pay for her own formal all night. Silly girl, I saw that coming a mile away and had planned accordingly. Not once did I tell her that her funds had diminished. I paid for my drinks, my date’s drinks, her drinks, and her date’s drinks. This was a formal so it was at a *college nice* restaurant that did not have college style prices. I spent $575 that night on the bar tab. And she had the best formal ever. At the end of the night, as she was walking with my pledge brother into our sleeping dorm to spend the night, she stopped in my room to ask me a question. “Hey, before I forget, was there any change to the 20 bucks I gave you?” Pretty girl, played right into my trap. “Oh yeah girl, let me get that back to you before you go to bed.” So I walked up to her and I put her original $20 bill back in her hand. She got really confused, and looked at me and said “I don’t understand…” I just cocked a smile. Now was the moment for my grand finale. “No gentleman would ever allow a lady to pay for her own drinks during a formal affair. There’s three things a woman should never touch on a perfect night; door handles, backs of chairs, and the check. You’re my best friend and I’ll be damned if I was going to let a cheap date ruin your first formal.” She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She just gave me a look that I’ll never forget. It was if her eyes said “one day I’m going to to marry you.” And we just stood there in silence, memorizing everything that had happened in the last 5 minutes so that we could tell this story for the rest of our lives. My pledge brother’s voice broke the silence “Hey so I’m going to bed. Are you going to stay with me tonight or is he going to take you home?” She looked at him with tears still in her eyes and just nodded. As she walked out the door she still didn’t say a word, she just looked at me and mouth the words “I Love You”. In that moment it was all worth it. I would’ve spent $5000 for that moment. I didn’t care that she slept with my pledge brother that night. He had her body, but I was getting closer to her heart. And then the next morning, she crawled into bed with me.