I don’t like him. I like his penis. TSTC.

Partying hard enough to be sent to standards, but being intimidating enough never to be sent. TSM.

Shotgunning your Starbucks espresso by day, and whatever you can get your hands on by night. TSM.

Bid Day: NFL Draft for sorority girls. TSM.

Not trusting your t-shirt chair until you follow her on Pinterest. TSM.

Having an ex in every (top tier) fraternity by junior year. TSM.

Having the ability to identify someone’s fraternity by a single Facebook photo. TSM.