Being the legend, the role model, and the bad influence all at the same time. TSM.

“This goes out to the ladies at breakfast in last night’s dress.” TSM.

Pray for my soul, my liver and my dignity. TSM.

He wears the pants, but I control the zipper. TSM.

I’ve been 21 since I was 18, and I’ll continue to be 21 until I’m 30. TSM.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. NS. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, elevated surface. TSTC.

Knowing the difference between glitter and sparkles. TSM.

“Oh my God. You’re such a sorority girl.” TSM.

“Do we like her?” TSM.

Canceling a date because you don’t feel like shaving your legs. TSM.