I’m not shallow. I just have impossibly high standards. TSM.

Just give me a glass of wine and a Pinterest board and call me the wedding planner. TSM.

I don’t work out to stay healthy. I work out so I look good naked. TSM.

The only man a girl should ever wait for is the bartender that’s serving her wine. He’s a busy man. TSM.

Being pretty offended when he tells you that you are a “good girl,” but also slightly proud that someone out there still thinks so. TSM.

You can’t be “practically” in a sorority, geed. TSM.

The devil wears cargo shorts. TSM.

“Go like my Insta.” TSM.

I need a white wine emoji almost as badly as I need a white wine. TSM.

Letters making Zac Efron look even better. TSM.