I’m a Hepburn, not a Hilton. TSM.

Knowing that a sarcastic tone and the word “classy” is the most effective insult. TSM.

Adopting an underprivileged teenager and having him become an NFL star. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.

No. I am not concerned about my future. I am a 34D and bake cookies like you wouldn’t believe. TSM.

Hyphenated last names are for GDIs. I’ll be taking my husband’s name. TSM.

I’m conservative everywhere except the bedroom. TSM.

You’re right GDI. Leggings aren’t pants…if you’re fat. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.

Don’t expect me to get on my knees unless I can clearly see yours. TSM.